{40 days to the Spirit}
(The journey these days come is slow motion but are part of the steps I take to reach the Spirit….bear with my slow pace…)
2009.05.03…Good Shepherd
And I have other sheep, which are not of this fold;
I must bring them also,
and they shall hear My voice;
and they shall become one flock with one shepherd.
~John 10:16
2009.04.29…meet Sophia2
For in Wisdom there is a spirit intelligent and holy, unique in its kind yet made up of many parts, subtle, free-moving, lucid, spotless, clear, invulnerable, loving what is good, eager, unhindered, beneficent, kindly towards mortals, steadfast, unerring, untouched by care, all-powerful, all-surveying, and permeating all intelligent, pure, and most subtle spirit. For Wisdom moves more easily than motion itself. She is so pure, She pervades and permeates all things. Like a fine mist She rises from the power of God, a clear effluence from the glory of the Almighty, so nothing defiled can enter into Her by stealth. She is the radiance that streams from everlasting light, the flawless mirror of the active power of God, and the image of His goodness. She is but one, yet can do all things. Herself unchanging, She makes all things new. Age after age She enters into holy souls, and makes them friends of God and prophets.
Wisdom of Solomon 7:22-27
2009.04.27…Divine Feminine…Wisdom
She is the central pivot of creation and represents the feminine aspect in all things.
She is Wisdom Incarnate, the Goddess of all those who are wise.and her three daughters are known as …Faith, Hope, and Love!
She is also known as the Spirit of creation, the Mother of Creation, and through Mary was she made incarnate…Sophia-Maria!
In this way we know that the Holy Spirit and Wisdom (Divine Feminine aka Sophia) are the same…
“For into a malicious soul wisdom shall not enter: nor dwell in the body that is subject unto sin. For the holy spirit of discipline will flee deceit, and remove from thoughts that are without understanding, and will not abide when unrighteousness cometh in. For wisdom is a loving spirit; and will not acquit a blasphemer of his words: for God is witness of his reins, and a true beholder of his heart, and a hearer of his tongue. For the Spirit of the Lord filleth the world: and that which containeth all things hath knowledge of the voice.” ( Septuagint Wisdom I: 4-7 )
2009.04.25 : Third Easter Sunday
we become witnesses
not because of our knowledge of scripture
but on how scripture is fulfilled in our own personal liveswe witness
not how we heard it told and retold from sources apart from our lives
but from how we can re-live the scripture in our livestherefore,
it is not enough to seclude ourselves from the world
but to live in the world
for through our very own experiences
can we find the meaning of scripture in our livesEaster Day 01
Our hearts should rejoice because now it is abundantly clear that our salvation does not have to do with our own goodness or badness, but with Jesus Christ who has victory over death and evil. The Risen Jesus invites us into Life. Our hearts need only say yes…~excerpt from Magnificat edition
Easter Sunday
It should be clear – that in our finest Moment – Easter ! – we would not have a point to rejoice as we do today had there not been the Passion…just as there would be no
- Happiness without Sadness
- Light without Darkness
- Crown without the Cross
We are children of Easter Morning.
May the Light of His Resurrection shine brightly uponthe path you walk upon.
Love and Light to you and those you love.And Fr Geoffrey could not have put it any better…
The stone of darkness and death has been rolled away to give way to new Life and Hope. Death is not the last word but Life and Joy! We believe and proclaim that
He Is Risen!
Day 39, Holy Saturday
Day 38, Good Friday
Day 37, Maundy Thursday : and the Instituion of the Holy Eucharist
At the eve of His passion, knowing what was about to happen, He leaves us with a lasting gift…the institution of the Eucharist…that we may know He lives long after the event of His death. That we may come to celebrate and know Him in a real and physical way. We are saved – not by our goodness or badness, but simply because our hearts opened up to say Yes to Him. Know that you are loved beyond measure or return.
Day 36, Wednesday : The eve of Passover
On coming to the Blessed Sacraments graceful Light
How I miss coming to visit daily
i can feel the weight of shadow upon me
and i feel dull and weak
but I remain quiet
it is part of the Spiritual dryness that is upon me
and I will wait patiently until he showers me with rain once moreDay 35, Tuesday : On Fasting
it is easy to fall to despair when tired or hungry
but i do find that when i am in this state I am also close to inspiration
perhaps that is why Jesus fasted and prayed in the desert
it is important to be physically “weak”
so that the Spirit can be made to flourish
maybeDay 34, Monday
Fifth Sunday of Lent : Palm Sunday : Lyrics Anima Christi
Soul of Christ, sanctify me
Body of Christ, save me
Blood of Christ, inebriate me
Water from Christ’s side, wash me
Passion of Christ, strengthen me
O good Jesus, hear me
Within Thy wounds hide me
Suffer me not to be separated from Thee
From the malicious enemy defend me
In the hour of my death call me
And bid me come unto Thee
That I may praise Thee with Thy saints
and with Thy angels
Forever and ever
AmenDay 33, Saturday ….”Beloved…
let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. 8Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. 9This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son[a] into the world that we might live through him. 10This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for[b] our sins. 11Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. 12No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.” 1 John 4:7-12Day 32, Friday (authored by Pope Benedict XVI)
Only when someone values love more highly than life, that is, only where someone is ready to put life second to love, for the sake of love, can love be stronger and more than death. If it is to be more than death it must first be more than mere life. Jesus’ total love for men, which leads him to the cross, is perfected in total stepping over to the Father and therein becomes tsronger than death, because in this it is at the same time total “being held” by him
Blessed Sacrament, Stations, Taize PrayerDay 31, Thursday : the fabric of fate
marriage is not simply a social event: it is a crossing of threads in the fabric of fate. Many strands bring the couple and their families together and spin their lives into a fabric that is woven on in their children. The interweaving of human fate is part of the cosmic curtain of destiny that hangs before the Throne of Heaven. All meetings and marryings are ordained to accomplish particular ends or prepare the way for others. (TL)
this is true of friendship as well…indeed of all who seem to cross our path…or run alongside our path. For indeed we take from our companions – in whatever role they play in our lives. The greatest waste is thinking we have not grown from every and any encounter…be that they remain for a moment or a lifetime.
And if you are somehow awakened to this reality – that each and every one we meet is a potential for learning and loving, then we are bound to do so – this is a goal not easily practiced…but a goal nonetheless – to see in every person the potential – nay, the capacity – to love and receive love in many different levels.
Jesus did it – effortlessly!Day 30, Wednesday
ccdDay 29, Tuesday
Day 28, Monday : Twelve Signs of Spiritual Awakening
By GHoppe and TobiasI came upon this list and true enough, several of them are very familiar to me.
1. Body aches and pains, especially in the neck, shoulder and back. This is the result of intense changes at your DNA level as the “Christ seed” awakens within. This too shall pass.
2. Feeling of deep inner sadness for no apparent reason. You are releasing your past (this lifetime and others) and this causes the feeling of sadness. This is similar to the experience of moving from a house where you lived in for many, many years into a new house. As much as you want to move into the new house, there is a sadness of leaving behind the memories, energy and experiences of the old house. This too shall pass.
3. Crying for no apparent reason. Similar to #2 above. It’s healthy to let the tears flow. It helps to release the old energy within. This too shall pass.
4. Sudden change in job or career. A very common symptom. As you change, things around you will change as well. Don’t worry about finding the “perfect” job or career right now. This too shall pass. You’re in transition and you may make several job changes before you settle into one that fits your passion.
5. Withdrawal from family relationships. You are connected to your biological family via old karma. When you get off the karmic cycle, the bonds of the old relationships are released. It will appear as though you are drifting away from your family and friends. This too shall pass. After a period of time, you may develop a new relationship with them if it is appropriate. However, the relationship will be based in the new energy without the karmic attachments.
6. Unusual sleep patterns. It’s likely that you’ll awaken many nights between 2:00 and 4:00 AM. There’s a lot of work going on within you, and it often causes you to wake up for a “breather.” Not to worry. If you can’t go back to sleep, get up and do something rather than lay in bed and worry about humanly things. This too shall pass.
7. Intense dreams. These might include war and battle dreams, chase dreams or monster dreams. You are literally releasing the old energy within, and these energies of the past are often symbolized as wars, running to escape and boogiemen. This too shall pass.
8. Physical disorientation. At times you’ll feel very ungrounded. You’ll be “spatially challenged” with the feeling like you can’t put two feet on the ground, or that you’re walking between two worlds. As your consciousness transitions into the new energy, you body sometimes lags behind. Spend more time in nature to help ground the new energy within. This too shall pass.
9. Increased “self talk.” You’ll find yourself talking to your Self more often. You’ll suddenly realize you’ve been chattering away with yourself for the past 30 minutes. There is a new level of communication taking place within your being, and you’re experiencing the tip of the iceberg with the self talk. The conversations will increase, and they will become more fluid, more coherent and more insightful. You’re not going crazy, you’re just Shaumbra moving into the new energy.
10. Feelings of loneliness, even when in the company of others. You may feel alone and removed from others. You may feel the desire to “flee” groups and crowds. As Shaumbra, you are walking a sacred and lonely path. As much as the feelings of loneliness cause you anxiety, it is difficult to relate to others at this time. The feelings of loneliness are also associated with the fact that your Guides have departed. They have been with you on all of your journeys in all of your lifetimes. It was time for them to back away so you could fill your space with your own divinity. This too shall pass. The void within will be filled with the love and energy of your own Christ consciousness.
11. Loss of passion. You may feel totally dispassionate, with little or no desire to do anything. That’s OK, and it’s just part of the process. Take this time to “do no-thing.” Don’t fight yourself on this, because this too shall pass. It’s similar to rebooting a computer. You need to shut down for a brief period of time in order to load the sophisticated new software, or in this case, the new Christ-seed energy.
12. A deep longing to go Home. This is perhaps the most difficult and challenging of any of the conditions. You may experience a deep and overwhelming desire to leave the planet and return to Home. This is not a “suicidal” feeling. It is not based in anger or frustration. You don’t want to make a big deal of it or cause drama for yourself or other. There is a quiet part of you that wants to go Home. The root cause for this is quite simple. You have completed your karmic cycles. You have completed your contract for this lifetime. You are ready to begin a new lifetime while still in this physical body. During this transition process, you have an inner remembrance of what it is like to be on the other side. Are you ready to enlist for another tour of duty here on Earth? Are you ready to take on the challenges of moving into the New Energy? Yes, indeed you could go Home right now. But you’ve come this far, and after many, many lifetimes it would be a shame to leave before the end of the movie. Besides, Spirit needs you here to help others transition into the new energy. They will need a human guide, just like you, who has taken the journey from the old energy into the new. The path you’re walking right now provides the experiences to enable you to become a Teacher of the New Divine Human. As lonely and dark as your journey can be at times, remember that you are never alone.Fifth Sunday of Lent : Suffering
Today’s readings were very special to me…especially the Gospel for which my whole Lenten journey is based upon…
Amen, amen I say to you unless a grain of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains just a grain of wheat; but if it dies, it produces much fruit. John 12:24
Not only did it say that the wheat grain must fall…it must fall and die…in other translations the word used is “crushed”. So did our Lord liken himself to the this grain whose death spurred on the fruit of even more wheat.
But Wheat on its own bears no use…it is not a flower with visual beauty, nor is it fragrant, or have within it any special healing properties. Indeed, wheat in and of itself serves no special purpose. But once crushed and processed and brought through some transformation that it becomes bread…the very staple of food and nourishment.
Surely it is not an easy task for us. Transformation involves some form of Suffering. And Suffering is never pleasant…
It is part of being human that we Suffer because of the entry of sin into the world. (If there had been no sin, there would be no suffering.) If we open our hearts to God, we will ALWAYS discover that suffering can lead us to a deeper place of faith and trust in Him. This is a good end and thus we can see that God can bring good out of suffering. We will never enjoy Suffering, but by faith at least we can gain something out of it!” ~didache companion
So let us not be content at being grown wheat from the seed of God. Let us give meaning to this life through the transformation. I am encouraged to bring the full potential of my grain to fruition….to participate in the eternal drama and dynamic of our salvation.
What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the master calls a butterfly. ~RBDay 27, Saturday : You cannot define Wisdom, you can only imitate Her.
Intelligent: Hone your mind to keenly observe what is;
Holy: Cultivate a heart that is transparent to what is;
Unique: Realize that you are a precious and unrepeatable manifestation of God;
Subtle: Learn to act without coercion;
Flowing: Cut with the grain, tack with the wind;
Transparent: Cleanse your self of selfishness;
Pure: Cleanse your mind of drama;
Distinct: Honor yourself and your uniqueness;
Invulnerable: Be like water, yielding while embracing;
Good: Work for the welfare of self and others;
Keen: Learn to distinguish between truth and propaganda;
Irresistible: Cultivate integrity and trustworthiness;
Gracious: Make room for others;
Humane: Treat all people with respect;
Faithful: Say what you mean and do what you say;
Sure: Rest in the Way;
Calm: Love what is;
All-powerful: Stop playing God and realize God is playing you;
All-seeing: Observe the Way as well as the things;
Available: Be willing to share what you know and what you do not know.
(TL)Day 26, Friday: Don’t Judge Others…
Another nugget shared…
The focus of our judgment should always be on ourselves, never on others. Regardless of our level of spiritual development, our understanding of the spiritual laws and their effects in the world is limited. Thinking that we know how everything works in the spiritual world is a certain indication that we know very little indeed. Full awareness of our own intentions and motives is hard enough, so how can we pass judgment on another person’s life? Moreover, the spiritual foundations for a person’s troubles are complicated and often obscure. If we accept that our understanding of the spiritual world is limited, it is foolish to imagine that we can see through the intricacies of the spiritual universe enough to penetrate the mysteries of other people’s destinies. Imagine that a close friend has suddenly been stricken by a severe illness. Should we then tell our friend that his predicament is his own responsibility? On the spiritual level, this may be true — but the more real question is, What good does this judgment do? How will it benefit him, in the midst of his suffering, to hear that he is responsible for it? Passing judgment on the spiritual causes of others’ distress brings neither them nor us closer to transformation.
Instead, our first responsibility should be not to judge but to lend assistance. A person in pain needs relief, not moral reflection. A homeless man needs shelter, not philosophy, however well informed it might be. Unless we are certain that our judgment will help another person toward transformation, it is best to say nothing and to take positive action toward relieving the immediate distress. Often, the simple act of nonjudgmental listening is the best thing we can do for anyone.
The whole purpose of spirituality is to become more conscious of the needs of others, more sympathetic, and more caring. So beware of the road that leads you in the other direction toward judging others harshly. This is not a true spiritual path. (TL)
Stations and Taize PrayerDay 25, Thursday…Walk like the blind…
The sages describes two categories of people on the path to transformation: those who are blind and know they are blind, and those who are blind and don’t know it. People who know they are spiritually “in the dark” move through life with great care. They don’t see as well as they would like to. Figuratively speaking, they get down on their hands and knees and crawl to make certain no danger lies ahead — and because they move with such great care, they’re able to discover diamonds lying in their path.
The rest of us imagine that we see everything. Because of this, we find ourselves constantly falling into the spiritual equivalent of snares, traps, and pitfalls. Even worse, we overlook the jewels — the opportunities for transformation — spread out before us. We see the world through a lens of ego that severely distorts the terrain. We misread signs. We take the wrong road. We’re a danger to ourselves and to those around us.
The wisdom of the sages teaches that regardless of our level of spiritual development, it is best to think of ourselves as spiritually blind and to assume that our understanding is very limited. This in itself is not an easy task. It’s a challenge for those of us who have studied a bit of Theology and are suddenly euphoric about a new whole way of looking at the world. But it’s even more difficult for those of us who have studied a great deal and think we know exactly how the system works. The fact is, the more we really know about transformation, the less likely we’ll believe that our spiritual vision is 20/20.
True spiritual growth is complicated. We need perseverance, courage, and determination. As we draw closer to the Light of the Creator, the journey becomes more complex — and at the same time, more Light is revealed by our efforts. (TL)
(Footnote: Forgive me if I have stopped writing…but I share with you words that have found their way to me..and it is a time for learning and internalizing….these nuggets of written gold could not have been written any better. Perhaps it will coax the author to start a blog of His own that we might follow more closely…)Day 24, Wednesday…feast day of the Annunciation
Today we celebrate the announcement of Angel Gabriel upon the Virgin…and her response despite all conceivable odds or ridicule or judgement…
And Mary said, “Behold, I am the handmaid of the Lord; let it be to me according to your word.” And the angel departed from her.~ Luke 1:38
I revel at the thought that Mary could have said No. She had Free Will and she could have said No.
I pray that however the plan of God is revealed to you or me, that we are able to say “Yes”! without trepidation or hesitation, but with all the Faith in the world.
To be perfect in our vocation is nothing else than to fulfill the duties which our state of life obliges us to perform, and to accomplish them well, and only for the honor and love of God.– St. Francis de Sales
CCDDay 23, Tuesday…”In the name of The father, The Son, and The Holy Spirit…!”
even in signing ourselves we call upon His Name…we invoke His power and presence by the very act – and even whisper on our lips…IN HIS NAME! wow – this never fails to cause me to tremble somewhat…because by our very words we call on Him to come into our midst and be one with us and our prayer….
So when you say it – say it with conviction. And even in whispered thoughts, know that you Call upon Him – and you do so “In His name”Day 22, Monday…World Peace
Even the smallest of lights shine brightly in the dark…so shall our inner peace bring about a much greater conversion in the world.
To be part of the that which contributes to the collective awareness of humanity
(Footnote: The 100th Monkey story exemplifies this is the basest of scenarios…whereby a behaviour is adapted without physical forces to influence the act…so does it work in similar fashion with our awareness and awakening )
Let Peace begin with me/you/us…and in our smallish way we may affect the world…always remembering we are a child of the Universe…we have every right to be here!Fourth Sunday of Lent : “It is a decision…”
… to live a life of Faith. A gift, if we so choose to accept it. And Faith …to believe…is the only requirement to receive that salvation – a true and heartfelt conversion. It does not have to be earth-shattering. Indeed it can be quiet. But I describe a Faith that digs deep into the heart and every living day. The Faith that fills the lungs with every breath taken. The kind of Faith that colours every living thing with an aura of our Creator. That kind of Faith.
For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son. so that everyone who believes in him might not perish but might have eternal life.
John 3:16
Not by any (of our) works or deeds can we ever deserve such an honour. I believe this. For to think that our works or deeds can bring us salvation would be to belittle the ultimate sacrifice already paid and purchased by Jesus Christ for us.
For by Grace you have been saved through Faith, this is not from you; it is a gift of God; it is not from works, so that no one might boast
Ephesians 2:8-9
Why then do we do good and strive for perfection? Simply because we love our Creator. And we show our Love by honouring Him and His creations.Day 21, Saturday: Make Everything FRESH
“Freeing God from theology and ritual is what keeps God free for the people.
Freeing yourself from manipulative thinking is what keeps the people free for God.”
We are reminded to exercise caution from falling into rote and routine-like worship. To keep it fresh and alive. This is precisely what had me stray in the past – rote and repetition got in the way and I did not feel fulfilled. And yet – I return – constantly freeing myself from feeling like I have to do “anything”. And always reaching deep to find the joy I feel in worship.
To the Enlightened, practice must never become routine. While he/she may outwardly perform exactly the same procedure as his/her co-religionists, he/she seeks to remain aware of the inner content of what he/she is doing in relation to himself/herself, the universe and God. His/Her intention, or Kavvanah, is consciously directed, because he/she knows that what he/she is doing will have an effect on the whole of existence. He/She accepts the responsibility of will, and operates according to his/her knowledge of the upper Worlds, so that a simple ceremony becomes a focus for a Divine influx. (TL)Being free for God means engaging each moment uncluttered by the psychological and spiritual baggage of the past. It means encountering God, nature, and everyone you meet from a place of radical not-knowing. It means putting aside the idolatries that pass for truth in your life, and learning to live without surety, certainty, and rationalization. It means standing naked before the mirror of Truth and seeing all your imperfections, and not being quite clear as to whether they are imperfections or not. It means living without a net….Living without the foundation –however false — of nationality, ethnicity, race, and ancestral ties is frightening. It means living without a fixed identity. (TL)
And you know what truly makes me smile? Is knowing that “God so loved the world…”. Enough to send His only son…wow! It is remarkable…mind-boggling…humbling!Day 20, Friday : “Those that walk along the path with me”
I am graced to walk this journey, always with a desire to follow the Way, never alone because He is with me. Often I find my foot fall is joined by another journeyman. And in this fellowship do I extract the lesson that allows light to shine more brightly along the path of my Life. Some do not walk long, some I do not recognise at all, and still some are familiar and stay a little longer.
To all the my co-journeymen, I thank you, for sharing your heart and allowing me the chance to walk a brighter path.
Stations and Taize PrayerDay 19, Thursday : Kabbalah
shared by one who also journeys on….
Before you come into this world, you already know all that there is to know (Sefer Ha’Zohar, Vol. 3, folio 61b). In the womb, you are shown from one end of the universe to the other, and taught the highest mystery wisdom. Then, when you emerge into the light of this world, when your soul becomes on that moment manifested in your body, all is forgotten (Babylonian Talmud, Nidah 30b).
Why is this? Why bother knowing before birth what you will inevitably forget after birth? For it is as if the soul is a sculptor and the body a sculpture in progress. And while the artisan retains the end result of the intended image, this knowing will not become realized through the art itself until it has been successfully completed and refined.
Likewise, it is our soul-self that is informed of all wisdom prior to our birth, and then, once we are born, endeavors to imbue our persona with that knowledge. This is a task that takes many years, and the quality of which depends upon the clarity of body and mind to receive what is being channeled from the soul.
From the beginning of our earthly journey – we are meant to complete the final vision of our Creator…for us…His Plan made whole in this, our lifetime.
If we are so inclined, listen then to the call of our very nature – the reason for being…our unique and individual “raison d’etre”.
We see it everyday as we open our awareness (our inner eye) to how we are led to follow a “blueprint” in our lives. Despite our mistakes, our left turns, our bad choices…if we believe, have faith, and have the desire in our hearts, our paths become straight, our choices are made right, and our left turns bend to the straight and narrow. AND in the end – we are exactly where we were meant to be..and become…
For we are His handiwork, created in Christ Jesus for the good work heh as prepared for us in advance, that we shoudl live in them
Ephesians 2:10
Have Faith! All is good. He is with us til the end.Day 18, Wednesday : Sacrament of Reconciliation
Today the children of my CCD class and myself were Blessed with the opportunity to receive this sacrament as we continue our journey through the wilderness. Reflecting upon the faces of my “children” in this class, there is such commitment and desire to make a good confession – to reconcile themselves with their Maker.
But Jesus said, Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me:
for of such is the kingdom of heaven.
Matthew 19:14Day 17, Tuesday : St Patrick’s Feast Day
Day 16, Monday :
Third Sunday of Lent : Loving versus Un-Loving Anger
Oftentimes I beat myself up when I am driven to anger for one reason or another. Indeed this has been part of my confession (almost weekly) as I am driven to this point with the children (most often). And yet this reading from Sunday talks about how Jesus too was driven to Anger… But not the wanton anger I feel when frustration peaks. The difference is Loving versus Un-Loving Anger…
Sinful anger refers to being upset when people wrong us; that is, it is being unduly or excessively upset when people wrong us. There are many evils in the world. When we see them directed at us and feel personally impacted, we are naturally provoked. When evil strikes us, then from the depths of our being we will oppose it earnestly and passionately. We will be outraged. But this outrage is wrong when it ignites too fast, lasts too long, harbors too much, and goes too far (this is like four boundary lines that box anger in)….Sinful anger is lacking self-control regarding inner passions.
And how does one recognize Loving Anger?
it emulates God and it opposes evil.
Excerpt from Bible.orgDay 15, Saturday: (this always makes tears well up in my eyes and I am lifted!)
We remember how you loved us to your death,
And still we celebrate, for you are with us here;
And we believe that we will see you
When you come in your glory, Lord
We remember, we celebrate, we believe.Day 14, Friday : That you may have life and live it to the Fullest
Life is meant to be abundant in ALL areas…our life is a gift from God. It does not mean accomplishing big dreams, successes, or station. Indeed I do not believe these will be measured of us by god on That Day. Rather that we “Live our lives joyfully, that’s what we are created for and that’s what pleases our God.”
Jesus Came So That We May Have An Abundant Life.
John 10: 10
Stations and Taize PrayerDay 13, Thursday : “Take me out of the dark”
The lyrics of this song are very instrumental in bringing me back into the fold… I wanted to share this with you now since it was about this time in Holland in 1995 that I was called back….
Just what is it in me
Sometimes I just don’t know
What keeps me in your love
Why you never let me go
And though you’re in me now
I fall and hurt you still
My Lord, please show me how
To know just how you feel
You have forgiven me
Too many times, it seems
I feel I’m not what you might call
A worthy Christian after all
And though I love you so
Temptation find its way to meChorus:
Teach me to trust in you with all of my heart
To lean not on my own understanding
‘Cause I just forget
You won’t give me what I can’t bear
Take me out of the dark, my Lord
I don’t wanna be there
ooh,ooh,woohYou’ve never left my side
You gave your hand to me
to hold you, Oh Jesus,
I’m no longer in the cold
And yet, I leave you there
When I feel satisfied
I’d like to thank you everyday
Not only when I feel that way
I’ve never known a man who’d give his life
For sinners like me
And yet because he loves us so
He’s promised us eternity
And we can have that promise and be His
If we have faith and just believeDay 12, Wednesday : Forgiveness…
…the highest, most beautiful form of love.Day 11, Tuesday : Response to Living in today’s depression….
A constant reminder to remain faithful and hopeful during these times.
Indeed I am learning hard lessons like surrendering my Will in favour of His Will for me…of lessons of Humility. It is in constant surrender that I know we will weather this “storm”.
Let us continue to remain vigilant in our prayers for each other. And as He promised, this too shall pass!
excerpt from my letter to Imelda on living in today’s depression/recessionDay 10, Monday : The heart of Abraham…
The first reading yesterday was about Abraham and how he did not hesitate to sacrifice even his most beloved son when asked by God. I shudder at the thought that the same might be asked of me, and o how I would fail.
How then do I relinquish my Will for the Will of God? I see it in my daily struggles…thinking there is honour is insisting on my way, cloaking it under the semblance of guidance that I press my will against those of my children, and justifying my frustration with a charge to fight for what is right…but what is right according to Cecile.
How I wish I could submit (as I did in my youth) to the will of others…only now I would do so with an abundance of prayer to help show me that I submit my will to His will – and not the frivolous will of others.
Abraham did have the ears to hear His God. Lord, I pray for that as well…open my ears that my heart might hear Your Voice more clearly.Second Sunday of Lent : Transfiguration…”Ascend the Mountaintop”
The mountaintop experience is a challenge to transfigure our inner selves and glow in the Love of God, with the Love of God. but to ascend the mountain we must unburden ourselves from all the baggage that prevents the rise…arrogance, selfishness, vanity, envy,Day 09, Saturday : The grain of wheat….
“Truly, truly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit.
And thus echoes the coming event of the Passion of the Christ as he likens himself to the grain of wheat that must “die” so that it bear much needed fruit.Day 08, Friday : Litany of Humility (Rafael Cardinal Merry del Val)
O Jesus! meek and humble of heart, Hear me.
From the desire of being esteemed,
Deliver me, Jesus.From the desire of being loved…
From the desire of being extolled …
From the desire of being honored …
From the desire of being praised …
From the desire of being preferred to others…
From the desire of being consulted …
From the desire of being approved …
From the fear of being humiliated …
From the fear of being despised…
From the fear of suffering rebukes …
From the fear of being calumniated …
From the fear of being forgotten …
From the fear of being ridiculed …
From the fear of being wronged …
From the fear of being suspected …That others may be loved more than I,
Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.That others may be esteemed more than I …
That, in the opinion of the world,
others may increase and I may decrease …
That others may be chosen and I set aside …
That others may be praised and I unnoticed …
That others may be preferred to me in everything…
That others may become holier than I, provided that I may become as holy as I should…
Stations and Taize PrayerDay 08, Thursday : Spiritual Dryness
…i flounder in times such as these…times of spiritual dryness. I know even Mother Theresa experienced this void…as did John of the Cross…but sometimes it is too much to bear that I so not feel the joy that I should at the thought of prayer, at the thought of worship, at the awareness of all the wondrous miracles I am surrounded with….
Not that I am ungrateful – indeed, i am so thankful!
I suppose such is the journey into the wilderness….to be faced with a longing.
“Mechtilde of Marburg said the ‘nature of love is such that it overflows at first in sweetness, secondly it becomes rich in understanding, thirdly it abounds in desolation.”
Nesta de Robeck, Saint Elizabeth of Hungary, 123
Taken from Marian Castle BlogYou will have times of spiritual dryness. It is part of the Lord’s way. But the fact you will have spiritual dry spells is not the issue. The important question is what you will do in a time of spiritual dryness?At this point you must learn something about your natural tendencies. It will be the natural thing for you, during a dry season, to try to prove your love to the Lord. During a spiritually dry season you will find that you will try to prove to the Lord your faithfulness toward Him; you will do this by exerting your strength. Unconsciously you will be hoping by such self effort to persuade Him to return more quickly.
No. dear Christian, believe me, this is not the way to respond to your Lord in seasons of dryness.
What then shall you do?
You must await the return of your Beloved with patient love. Join with that love self-denial and humiliation! Even though the Lord has hidden Himself, remain constantly before Him. There before Him, pour out your love upon Him passionately and yet, I would add, always peacefully.
Spend time with Him in worship and in respectful silence. By waiting upon the Lord in this way, you will demonstrate to Him that it is He alone whom you are seeking. You see, you will be demonstrating that it is not the selfish enjoyment which you receive from being in His presence that causes you to love Him. You will be showing that it is not the pleasure, which you experience, but your love that motivates you.
There is a quotation . . . that speaks of such seasons:
Do not be impatient in times of dryness and darkness; allow the removals and delays of the consolations of God; draw near to Him and wait upon Him patiently that your life may be increased and be renewed. So, dear children of the Lord, be patient in your prayer during those seasons of dryness.
Excerpt from Evan WiggsDay 07, Wednesday : Fasting
What is fasting (whether from food or activity) if not coupled with prayer? Indeed at the point of the fast, it becomes even more poignant and pertinent if prayer accompanies the fast – at the time of the fast! remembering of course
prayer is communicating with God. Real prayer is expressing our devotion to our heavenly Father, inviting Him to talk to us as we talk to Him.
So however you wish to communicate with God – be it in Meditation, contemplation, singing, litanies…all are good! all are welcome!
Note : Stations of the Cross with the childrenDay 06, Tuesday
Day 05, Monday : BEAUTIFUL CHRISTIAN SISTER By Maya Angelou
‘A woman’s heart should be so hidden in Christ
That a man should have to seek Him first to find her.’When I say… ‘I am a Christian’
I’m not shouting ‘I’m clean living”
I’m whispering ‘I was lost,
Now I’m found and forgiven.’When I say… ‘I am a Christian’
I don’t speak of this with pride.
I’m confessing that I stumble
and need Christ to be my guide.When I say… ‘I am a Christian’
I’m not trying to be strong.
I’m professing that I’m weak and
need His strength to carry on.When I say… ‘I am a Christian’
I’m not bragging of success.
I’m admitting I have failed and
need God to clean my mess.When I say… ‘I am a Christian’
I’m not claiming to be perfect,
My flaws are far too visible but,
God believes I am worth it.When I say… ‘I am a Christian’
I still feel the sting of pain…
I have my share of heartaches,
so I call upon His name.When I say… ‘I am a Christian’
I’m not holier than thou,
I’m just a simple sinner
Who received God’s good grace, somehow!Shared by Imelda, my Angel Friend
First Sunday of Lent : Repent and Re-Paint
It is not enough to be sorry for our sins. There is a need to re-define and transform into something better. Simply saying sorry without intent of change is like a seed without water to bloom.Day 4, Saturday : Into The Wilderness
- Into The Wilderness
Day 03, Friday : God is Love
Pere Teilhard de Chardin: “Love is the only thing which can make things whole without destroying them.”
Note : Stations and Taize Prayer and Blessed SacramentDay 02, Thursday : Trust God will make all things right…make straight the crooked path…for indeed he draws straight with crooked lines….
Julian of Norwich wrote: “And God said: It is necessary that sin should exist, but all will be well, and All will be well and every manner of things will be well.”Day 01: Ash Wednesday… Marking the beginning of a journey of transformation…
Slow to Anger
Rich in Kindness
Loving and Forgiving
ang sanhi 